A string R.I.P

my pity violin broke by my stupid brother

A string R.I.P

T_T

errrrmm~

i want my iphone3Gs back

which is flush into closestool by someone~

hmmm t_t

sad

i want!!!i want!!!i want him/it back~

christmas are around the corner

lots of the memories flew into my mind

i miss the one who call me zhuu poh(pig head)~

although i'm not really love this name

but its make me feel warm

what should i do???

once close with him make me want him back more

i don't want this way

i make him suffer

i don't want make him disappointed anymore

i don't want hurt him anymore

although i really want him back

but i have to control

coz i know i don't deserve any chance from him

i love him!!! i miss him

dear i swear i miss you like hell

i don't want to face this world alone,without you by my side

you're the only one who make me feel like home

tell me what should i do???

arrrrr~what's happening to me???

check it out with this song:

SOMETIMES WHEN WE TOUCH by DAN HILL~

i can play this song's chorus~

wow!!!happy~but still need more practice^^

recently feel down
this week i only went to work for 3 days
but i don't know how many times i have cried these 3 days
i don't know the reason why i cried
yesterday even worse!!!my tear never stopped falling
and i have done my work but i dint backup the new file
soo i have to redo it today
soo actually i just came back from office
i felt scare yesterday...i could'nt even sleep
when my mum consoled me then i cried again
and i don't know when i fall asleep
i really feel i'm useless,what my boss said is true
i am useless...i feel want to give up~
i doesn't know what i supposed to do when i graduate
becoz for my standard i am not qualified to be an interior designer~
what i did yesterday was a really a silly mistake
even my colleague also feel that i am stupid
and the ways he spoke to me was really strong
i feel scared,i don't know how to face him
yerrRrRRrrrr...i am soo down!!!
my life is meaningless...yesterday i felt like i really wanted to die...
but today i am feeling better...

sorry

feel doesn't want to go work today~

know what???i just came back from office just now early in the 5a.m

O.T!!!O.T!!!O.T!!!

but quite satisfied with my work

but i really hate my job for sure

work without paying

O.T all the time!!!

GOD...

i pray hardly

hope this suffering 80days can pass faster

haiz~

lifeless!!!

don't know why???
feel odd...
feel emptiness~
not really know to describe the empty of my heart!!!
feel like lost somethings in my heart...
i lost my heart???or somethings really important???
feel confuse with somethings but doesn't know what is that
don't know who to talk
hope to talk somethings to someone but doesn't know what i wanna talk actually
just know i feel lonely and empty
feel to give up everythings just have fun everydays
i doesn't want back to reality
hope time can stop on every saturday and sunday
i doesn't want get back to work
i doesn't want AUTOCAD
i hate facing the desktop 9 hours per day sometimes even more than that
i'm tiring with this life

SOS!!!

feel confuse with somethings too

i doesn't understand at all

do he mention the one is me???

feel soo~

i flirt???

btw, i'm fine with that~

everyone has their opinion~

what i have doing right now is enjoing my single life..~

i think i'm enjoy!!!

not soo sure actually...

mayb is just can say i used to be alone right now~

since he has leave me to other place

i actually used to be with myself alone for go anyway

i enjoying alone sitting at the coffee shop and on9

although i miss him a lots...

but i really dint have any ability to get any brave to sms him or call him

i afraid that he'll feel that i'm annoying

soo!!!i stop thinking and take action

just can say

I MISS HIM!!! I LIKE HIM

i officially declare i'm 21st years old today

i had celebrate my birthday at earlier saturday the 24th of october

i took quite a lots picture, but mostly in my friend's camera

but i upload some of the picture 1st...and my presents...

hehehehe=)

hui xsin's frens and me
kim and me
take 2
=) ding dong(cousin) and me take 2
=)my birthday cake and stupid me
=) take 2
=)daddy, mummy and i
=) my family and i
=)kim and me again~

boy and i
=)my secondary's classmate
left to right: siew pheng,chai,me,andrew ah yen(cousin),me,ding dong(cousin)

=)all cute baby and i
=) cute sister and brother

=)

my presents

=)

cai ji buy me a violin tuner today

he soo nice...last time when came to my party already bought me a hello kitty's purse

now buy me a tuner again...

he give it to my brother today during school

=) cute soft toys

from my brother frens

fan qian,u jian,catherine and mandy

thank you aah!!!

love it soo much~

=)the hello kitty purse is from cai ji and lester

thank you very much aah!!!

love it soo much~

and the hllo kitty's cup is from leon and his mummy

hehehe=)

thanks a lots the necklace from my mum's fren

=) hello kitty's bag from tracy, stacy and selly

thanks a lots...

love it soo much neh~

=) lip gloss from kim~

thank a lots!!!

glad to receive your present

=) another hello kitty's bag from hui xsin frens

yiru,erica,xuan ling,kah ling and her boyfriend...

thank you soo much...

love it soo much too!!!

have lots of photo haven't upload yet!!!

will continue upload when i take the picture from my friend~

kim...please send it to me faster~

can't wait to see those picture!!!

your capture skill is soo amazing!!!

=)

since i start working~a lots of things change
not only the relationship between him and i
even now my relationship between my family and i are getting worse
having dinner toghether 10 minutes
but we can don't even talk more then a minutes~
i hate this soo much!!! i hate my boss
i hate the stupid annoying air ticket thingy
i has try my best to help him~i keep calling the bank
ask them what should i do!!!
and he sarcastic me!!!
sarcastic me that doesn't help him
i try!!!i did try!!!i rather try the best to solve his problem
but he soo ironic and said i didn't help him...
i hate!!!i hate!!!i hate!!!
i'm damn depression!!!i'm damn disaffection!!!i'm damn moody
i know he is tired,but i am tired too!!!
i know he care his money...but he doesn't know i care much more then him
becoz i know how suffer and how hard he earn those money
i think he doesn't know i care!!!he don't even know
maybe i care much more then him!!!
i'm really tiring of once come back home still need to heard their blame
heard they scold on me said that i doesn't try my best to help them..
please!!!stop it!!!i cant stand for it anymore
i doesn't want this life
i doesn't want always go back home with a moody face
stop it!!!i'm soo much tired of this sucking life!!!

am i cruel???am i bad???

i keep asked myself this question...by non-stop~ing
i just leave him there???i just leave him like this way???
i'm really non-stop asking myself ; non-stop asking my sister the same question...
no more regret for me...he'll not give me any single chance anymore~
becoz he did and i hurt him deep again!!!he said he had not any ability to trust me anymore
so, i should not regret!!!i keep telling myself this too!!!
what is the reason i leave him???is that any reason???
i continuance asking myself too...end up!!!i couldn't find any solution!!!
i hate myself soo much...i hurt him once again and again!!!
what am i doing???what i did to him again???
i'm the most worse bastard in the world!!!

actually i don't deserve any chance from him last time...he trust the wrong people again~i'm a stupid bastard, i don't deserve a nice guy like him~i earnestly and sincerely bless him will be happy~he deserve a happy life

amen

fling away those sadness...and start with brand new life

planning to organize a buffet on my birthday

sadness!!!go away!!!

since i have start working i really have not enough time to practice my violin~sad!!!i dint practice like 5 days d...i cant give up on my violin~no matter how suffer or how tired i also wont give up on it!!!and yes i miss him a lots....

hano~

yesterday was hui ling 16 years old...we celebrate her birthday in sunway and jusco~she invite leon as well~we woke up early in the morning then had our breakfast...yesterday was extraordinary!!!becoz daddy 1st time wanna go out for shopping with mummy and then we go for ice-skating...it was fun!!!we reach sunway at 4ish...and we only skate for 1 and the half hours...its not enough for us~hmmm=( becoz we need rush to jusco for sing k...micheala this is the picture...have a look...^^V

when prepare to skate
yeah!!!
^^V

me & hui ling with peace

^^V

hui ling

the birthday girl

^^V leon & ah boy gor gor
^^Vtake 2
^^Vtake 3

^^Vhui xsin dze dze pk 1 gor tee

anson language
^^V

finish skating~be4 leave we take

a shoot in the toilet

hui xsin dze dze and hui hui dze dze
^^V hui ling dze dze and hui hui dze dze
^^Vleon & ah boy gor gor
and hui ling dze dze sexy back
^^Vleon & ah boy gor gor
and hui xsin dze dze sexy back
^^V leon & ah boy gor gor
^^Vhe wear high-heel i wear slipper
hehe
^^V

After leave sunway
head to jusco sing k
leon follow too
coz his mum fetch him at our house
soo he need to follow too
naughty gaga kao fu and hui xsin dze dze
^^V fey zai gaga kao fu
^^V leonah boy gor gorgaga kao fu & gaga kao mou
^^V^^V ^^Vhui ling the birthday girl with cake
which is the free gift from green box
^^V
gaga kao fu sang a birthday song for hui ling dze dze

^^Vgaga kao mou & hui ling dze dze

^^V gaga kao mou, hui ling dze dze, gaga kao fu
^^Vthe birthday cake
^^Vhui xsin dze dze tee seen
^^V ah fey zai

^^Vah boy gor gor & leon

coming next my birthday
hehe
^^V
still planning.......